"I of my own knowledge…"

Saturday, May 1, 2010

8:30 AM. 10 years out of your life, eh, Papa?

Fucking right. 10 years out of my writing life, which is my closest, most precious, part. Everything else in my life was sort of relaxing from it, or holding it away.

And from 1940 to 1950 you weren’t able to punish anything but Men At War. (I don’t know why I wrote “punish” instead of “publish.”)

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You may think you know where this entry is going after the first couple of paragraphs, but I think that, like me, you will be surprised.

January 7, 2006

A friend gave me the DVD of “Dances With Wolves” for Christmas. and I am watching it on my computer, a little at a time. The following is from this morning’s journaling.

I do not understand why watching this movie still hurts so much. Whenever it is of the white man learning the Indian ways, for one thing. My active raw pain is no less than it was in 1992 and I understand it no better. I was building a little fire and I realized I perhaps haven’t been seeing those scenes just from the white man’s side – as I had thought. I have called myself, so many times, a white Indian. And I suddenly realize it is more like I am caught between the two. And now I know why. This can never be validated but it can be experienced.

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Friday, April 30, 2010

All right, Papa, you came home from the war and what happened externally is a record. What happened on the inside, and how conscious were you all that at the time? And — if you don’t want to talk about this but about something else instead, we can do that.

As soon as you can get yourself focused, and all of that other stuff out of your mind.

Yes. I am having a little trouble. Hang on a second –. Okay, I’m more here now.

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Now we begin the third section of this proposed book.

First came Section One: Who and What We Are.

Next came Section Two: How to Live

Section Three: Society and the Individual, this section, will be followed by

Section Four: The Challenge of Our Time.

Thursday January 5, 2006 (8:45 a.m.) All right, friends, I’m ready and willing. Who do I have the honor of speaking with today? Or, if you have no one special, I’ll choose.

You may find it easier to continue your long practice of addressing us as a group unless you wish any one of us, and receiving our communications the same way. We appeared this way for a reason. And perhaps this is as good a time as any to go into it a bit, if only for your book.

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Using my method of Intuitive Linked Communication, or ILC — The guys upstairs suggested the name, years ago — I have for the past few years been “conversing” (I don’t know how else to describe it) with several not-currently embodied people with whom I seem to share a resonance. Most prominent, recently, has been Ernest Hemingway, who seems to have come through for reasons of his own. Herewith, the first of a series of conversations thatmay be of interest, to be run on successive Mondays. They’re not just literary chit-chat!

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This completes the second section, “Shaping Ourselves,” of my projected book to be called So You Think Your Life Was Wasted. Next week we’ll start on Part Three, “Society and the Individual.”

Life and Achievement

Friday, August 10, 2007

5:45 a.m. somehow frittered away three quarters of an hour doing — what?? Story of my life, that.

Joyce, where do I go from here? If psychic powers and abilities aren’t an end in themselves — and clearly they aren’t, any more than anything else is — and if no form of external achievement is my focus –

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“If you missed some chances, so what?”

At the cost of some slight embarrassment, I offer this for those whose life situation it may echo, who may take encouragement from it.

August 9, 2007

Joseph, my friend, long time no see, but I just got the sense that I ought to contact you.

You will notice that you are listening repeatedly to the Paul Potts album and finding tears in your eyes when he sings “Time to say goodbye.” I don’t think it’s because that’s the only line in English, do you?

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