"I of my own knowledge…"

Thoughts about us and them and judgment and condemnation and what it’s all about

Inclusion

By Stuart Dean

A few years ago, I encountered a deeply moving account of the Father and the Children of God. It takes place before there was an earth or even a heaven. The Children would joyfully come together with each other and the Father, and this was the natural thing for them to do. A bit later, some of the Children decided to go off and play with creating greater density, which would eventually become matter. These Children became interested in being off by themselves, and they were no longer open to joining with the Father or the other Children. This caused considerable stress for the Children who were not involved with creating greater density. When they went to the Father with their concern, He reminded them in a gentle way that no intentions could be apart from His oneness. He then asked them if they could describe the distress they were feeling. They realized that love had stopped flowing through them when they were resisting what the other Children were doing. Now that they were accepting even the separative intention as part of oneness, their love began to flow again and all was well.

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Friday, September 24, 2010

4 AM. Not so good. Was awakened at 2:30 or sometime like that — off to the recliner, but a few minutes later I was at the computer, then back to sleep. But now up again, so how much sleep could I have gotten? Even though I am brewing coffee, I can see a need more sleep. Back to the recliner, I guess.

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Thursday, September 23, 2010

4 AM. Welcome to autumn. Awake at about 3:45, slight wheezing, a very acceptable night’s sleep. As I lay down I felt some wheezing and said, “no, I’m not going to do anything about it anyway at this time of night” [meaning, if you're trying to get my attention, stop] — and the wheezing stopped and I had my night’s sleep. I could probably get more, but I’m anxious to try the way of making notes that came to me in the middle of the night. Once again, file cards, but organized by topic instead of date of session. A simple change, but should yield significant results. The simple apparatus of scholarship. And I’m going to work on that first, before conversing, and see how that works.

5 AM. I am starting to get crowded out of this table, despite all leaves entered and thus the surface extended. Notes, a book for questions, binders, a place for this journal –. But anyway a pretty good idea, finally, of how to proceed with notes.

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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

5 AM. Yesterday my friend Jim lent me The Lost Book Of Enki by Zechariah Sitchin, and I spent much of the rest of the day reading it. A few dozen pages yet to go, but I was surprised to get into it as easily as I did, having read a couple of the other books of his and having found him not entirely believable. That is, I believe him to be a sincere thoughtful man, but I had thought him to be taking at too literal a level a description that might not have been meant to be read that way. This book, though, assuming it is an accurate translation, is clearly not an allegory or a description of psychological process, but a straightforward narrative.

I have been reluctant to commit myself on this, as on so many ground-shaking re-castings of our human history, because it is so easy to get carried away and so hard to get carried back! There is a long list of such influences in my life, starting perhaps with Immanuel Velikovsky’s Worlds In Collision.

My friend Chris e-mailed me yesterday that our discussion of how we can know what’s true struck a chord with him. Well, I felt it was said as much for someone else — more than one, probably — as for me.

What a lot of influences in a life! At the same time I read Sitchin, I am still reading Cabot’s life of Emerson, and Thomas Hart Benton’s Thirty Years’ View, and Max Freedom Long’s The Secret Science Behind Miracles, with excursions for the fun of it to Raymond Chandler’s essay “The Simple Art Of Murder,” and then there were all those Star Trek TV episodes. Like Emerson, I’m still “sinfully strolling from book to book,” and, like Emerson, quite happily.

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Monday, September 20, 2010

5:30 AM. Tired already, as I’ve been up a couple of hours doing e-mail etc. after I couldn’t sleep longer. You guys have anything in particular in mind?

You’ll notice that the first thing you do in the morning is apt to be the tone-setter. Listening to radio programs about allegations of secret science, etc. isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing to do, any more than Free Cell while you listen, but it will produce a different effect than prayer or meditation or thought or reading novels or playing music or anything one might do. The primary reason you are past 270,000 words in this is that this is your habit now — for as long as you don’t depart from it — and therefore it gets done regardless if anything else does.

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Sunday, September 19, 2010

5 AM. Pretty fair night’s sleep, after doing some robot work around it with Viki yesterday. I am compiling a list of questions about it to ask. Funny that this is the first time in my life that I have ever thought to ask them. Friday night I took a couple of valerian capsules to see if it would improve my sleep perhaps by resting the body — relaxing it, I mean — but I forgot to do it again last night, so I have no standard of comparison.

It occurs to me, I should include what I got when I asked, yesterday morning. A funny feeling, to be asking with no very clear idea of what or whom I am addressing. TGU? The body?

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Saturday, September 18, 2010

5 AM. A better night’s sleep then I had a right to expect. All right, I get that if we are going to reprogram our robots, it takes analysis among other things, and I can see what I will have to do but I don’t see that I need to do them in public, though I’m willing to be corrected. So — you all have anything on your minds?

It has been a big week, with many developments. Take a moment to scan the typed up conversations.

Even a fast scan of the week’s conversations reminds me of how much material is piling up here!

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Friday, September 17, 2010

5 AM. Up, I guess, since my nose filled and made unconscious breathing impossible. Not an impossible night but a disturbed one. Thank God –thank Ed Carter! — for his recliner, which makes everything easier.

I had a couple of things surface but I can’t remember them at the moment.

Yesterday I re-read Shadow Dancing In The USA, a book by Michael Ventura that I discovered in 1986 and reviewed for the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot. That was when I discovered him, and for a long time it was the only thing of his I had. I was surprised to see that his first essay concerned how we are not unitary individuals, but communities.

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Thursday, September 16, 2010

5:20 AM. I am feeling very blessed by friends these days. My brother volunteers to search my files for specific information, to pull it together. Bob volunteers to make an index of material month by month, Gary comes by specifically to have a chance to chat, buys me dinner, buys the new Clarke books and the new version of Sphere And Hologram, Michel sends information on ways to combat asthma, Neil sends inhalers. And this hardly exhausts the list of support provided, it’s just a few recent examples. Nancy’s contributions, for instance, extending over nearly 3 years, could hardly be even comprehended in full, let alone listed.

Your wagon train analogy.

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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

2 AM. I might as well try this — I have had what sleep or semi-sleep I’m going to have for a while. Just for the record, I’m getting awfully tired of being sick for what seems like no reason. Yesterday was a breakthrough of sorts — maybe — but I’m sick again, so how much good is it?

I’m not in the best of moods, but pray continue your exposition of the three kinds of influences our minds and bodies interact with — or whatever other subject you prefer, if not that one.

You might as well read or kill time in some other way – watch a movie, perhaps – because this would take more energy than you have to give. And perhaps more sleep will follow.

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